Old Lady Jokes

'Transformers: Dark Of The Moon' Premiere Marks 'Graduation Day'

Mark your calendars, boys and girls: June 28, 2011, is officially "Transformers" Day in New York City, as announced at Tuesday night's red-carpet premiere of "Dark of the Moon," the third (and potentially final) installment in Michael Bay's robot-smashing, record-obliterating blockbuster trilogy.

On one hand, it was an event packed with more excitement and enthusiasm than a downtown Chicago brawl between Optimus Prime and his Decepticon rivals. On the other, it was bittersweet.

"It feels like graduation day, you know?" Shia LaBeouf told MTV News about his feelings on the night of the premiere. "I never went to college. I spent all of my college years on the set. This is my graduation. I wish I could have worn one of those funny hats, dude."

But even LaBeouf was able to make light of the situation. Asked what he'd wear underneath his graduation gown, he laughed: "Nothing. A unitard. A leopard unitard and a graduation hat."

For Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, the Victoria's Secret model making her acting debut and replacing former leading lady Megan Fox in the process, this was the crowning achievement of an already-breathtaking experience.

"It's blowing my mind to be here right now," she said of the premiere, which took place in a packed stretch of New York's famous Times Square. "I'll never, ever forget the last couple of weeks. It's been a dream come true. You see all of your hard work paying off. Look at all of these amazing people that [came out to] support this movie. It's really humbling.

William M. Briggs, Statistician » TSA De-diapers Old Lady (Update ...

TSA

You’ll have heard the TSA forced a 95-year-old woman , on her way home to die among family, was forced to strip and to undergo humiliation far worse than that faced by prisoners at Abu Ghraib. (The lady wanted “to be with family members during the final stages of her battle with leukemia .”)

Sari Koshetz, a spokeswoman for the Transportation Security Administration in Miami, and a woman almost certainly in possession of a communications “degree” from some backwater university, said, “she could not comment on specific cases to protect the privacy of those involved.”

But she could manage to croak, “The TSA works with passengers to resolve any security alarms in a respectful and sensitive manner.” By which words we must assume that “respectful” means strip searching dying, wheelchair-bound, frail old ladies, not to mention rifling through their underwear, in this case forcing the old lady to remove and discard her soiled adult diaper, leaving her with nothing to wear as an undergarment.

Koshetz defended the agency that boldly pats down infants, nursing mothers, buxom blonds, and other would-be terrorists—how heroic!—and said, “the procedures are the same for everyone to ensure national security.”

That is false. There is no reason in the world to have searched and humiliated that gentle old lady. National security was not helped in any way. Not only that, security was actually harmed. To my knowledge, there has never been a terrorist meeting the dying lady’s description. By humiliating her in the name of “We were just following orders” is to allow those much more likely to cause harm to slip through security unimpeded.

It is time to disband, de-fund, and delegitimize this ridiculous agency before it is too late. Somehow, the immortal words of Benjamin Franklin can never be recalled by more than a minority.

Update The daughter (Jean Webber) of the old lady who was de-diapered is on 710 AM (John Gambling show: 8:45 am, 28 June 2011). She said that as the TSA was giving her mother the third degree, she (the daughter) became distraught and began crying. This sent the noble TSA agents into a tizzy because the crying raised the “suspicious behavior” flag. This triggered a full alert: all of Webber’s materials were swabbed down, she was patted down, fully frisked, and hassled just as her mother was.

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